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As I drew close to home Ibegan imagining myself in her place, silky threads against bare skin,snug but comfortable in fabric like mercury, not caring that if it wassmall for my girlfriend it would be comically tiny for me, dutifullyignoring the rapidly fading part of me that begged to throw it out thewindow and pretend I'd never seen it.By the time I pulled into our lot I had a raging hard on, and as Icarried my prize upstairs it took serious effort to not just sit down andcaress it. I'd never thought about women's clothes like that before, butwith that annoyingly insistent doubt gone I didn't care. The dress wasjust so right, so impossibly gorgeous. I mourned the idea of giving it toLisa, making it hers forever, never feeling its luxury on myself, neverlooking as good as I now knew I could.Which is probably why I didn't put it in a box, or a gift bag, oranything like that. Instead I hung Lisa's present in the shower, grabbedsome tissues and lotion, and headed to the computer to. He stared deep into my eyes and I did the same in return. He had deep green eyes.“Give it to me,” I pleaded.The corners of his mouth curled into a smile.“Kiss me,” he pleaded.Gladly. Oh damn! That did it. I was gone at that point. I could feel him filling me up as we kissed. That was the last thing I remembered until I woke up lying beside him, one leg thrown across him, my head resting in the crook of his neck and one hand resting on his chest.Instinctively, I whispered, “I love you.”“I love you too,” he replied.I had never before expressed such a deep feeling for another man outside of John. I was afraid and happy, at the very same time. I was afraid I was losing my life-long love for my soul mate while happy that I had found someone who was both passionate and not judgmental.Robert and I lay there in silence for the longest time.“You know,” Robert finally said after a few minutes, “You are married to a good guy. He is lucky to have you.”“I know,” I replied. “I just wish he would.
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